It has been a few days I didn't update this blog, and quite a number of friends and relatives are concerning my current state.
I believe I'm 99.99% recovered back to the state before my chemotherapy. No, may be this is not an accurate description because the lump and the swollen lymph nodes are all subsided, and I have totally no other symptoms of nose cancer. Hence, I think my situation is recovered back to the time before I had any symptom.
However, cancer is kind of unpredictable, it's like Guerrilla Warfare, it may hide in stealth when you are suppressing it, and retaliates and surprises you again when you least expected it. Therefore I enjoy first and gar gar went for international buffet at hotel Shangri-La yesterday, you know what have I eaten? My favourite sashimi and fresh oysters.
After diagnosed with cancer, most of the people may change their thinking and attitude towards life. For me, I didn't change much, because I've already changed after my mother and sister passed away in year 2005 and 2000 respectively. For those who know me well, should be able to tell.
I learned about this ancient story 塞翁失马 when I was young, but I didn't understand and feel the moral of the story that time. After some real-life experiences, then I realized its true meaning. I would like to share some of my stories here.
Experience 1
My primary-6 PSLE exams result was very good and got into the top 8% special selected bilingual secondary school and class. That time I was very happy and thought that it was a good thing to me. However, my english foundation was very poor, I couldn't cope and struggle with the english as my first language.
In the end, I got a "D7" grade for my english subject in GCE 'O' level exam. I chose to enter polytechnic and forget about going into junior college and university (during my time, it was extremely difficult to enter the local university with a polytechnic diploma; they only admit those good ones with very good results and some years of working experience with employer's recommendation letter). Hence, I shouldn't be happy when I got into the top 8% special bilingual school.
Experience 2
After I graduated from polytechnic, I was enlisted into the army. During the initial phase of army training, it was very tough, and a lot of us wanted to sign up a career as Air-force technician or Signal Specialist just to divert away from the tough physical training. I was one of them with such a intention in mind and went for the enrollment.
However, my training instructor officer knew my intention and told me that he would strongly not recommend me and find all means to hold me back. At that point of time, I really hated him.
Until a few years later, when I started working in a R&D company, I happened to meet a few former platoon mates who successfully signed up a six-year contract as signal specialist. They all regretted in signing up the contract. Then I realized I should have thank my training officer whom I hated that time.
Experience 3
After working for 2 years, I tried my luck and applied to further study in NTU. Surprisingly, I was offered a place in NTU. Due to financial issue and work commitment, I was facing a dilemma of studying in NTU or continuing working to save more money.
Of course, I could apply for study loan for my study, but I needed the monthly income to support my parents as well. Mr. Quek, who was my superior in work suggested that I stay to assist him for another year and he would help me to apply for the company scholarship in the subsequent year.
That point in time, quite a number of friends and relatives advised me to admit into NTU immediately as the rare chance is not easy to come by. If I rejected it, I might not be able to get a place in the subsequent year. Moreover some relatives even offered me personal interest-free study loan.
After I discussed with my mother, she advised me not to struggle when I don't really need; which is true in the sense that I already have a diploma for my current job, I don't need to struggle for a degree. Moreover, Mr Quek treated me very well in work, and I felt that I should assist him another year in his on going project until he gets someone to replace me.
I had made my choice to stay for another year, some friends and relatives commented that I shouldn't have missed the chance to enter NTU. Nevertheless, I got the company scholarship in the subsequent year with Mr Quek's strong recommendation; and NTU admitted me based on my scholarship. In the end, I successfully completed my study in NTU without financial issue.
The above are just some of my true-life experiences about 塞翁失马. If you know me well, I'm more than willing to share more personal stories with you.
After all these experiences, I believe that all sorts of things happen in our life; good ones, bad ones, trivial ones and critical ones, they are inevitable and unpredictable. But how we perceive them and handle them is all up to us.
